The Currency Conundrum

Treasury Secretary Jack Lew stepped into it when he suggested a woman replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill. Of course he got more than he bargained for in the way of suggestions.

Jackson may deserve ousting but virtually all the other guys on our bills carry some negative baggage. Grant was a notorious anti-Semite, Ben Franklin was a womanizer, etc. Pick a bill and we probably can find something nasty about the guy who fronts it.

So, for the moment, let's forget about changing the current currency lineup. My wife has an alternative idea: She suggests we CREATE A NEW BILL, a $25 bill and put a worthy woman on it. Think how convenient that would be when you want to send a charitable donation or a gift and $20 seems cheap, $30 is awkward and $50 is too much. $25 would be just about right. And if fits nicely into our monetary system. Think four quarters make a dollar, four $25s make a hundred. Sweet.

As for who to put on the bill, my wife's' candidate is Eleanor Roosevelt, certainly a worthy choice. My personal preference is Sacajawea, the Shoshone Indian woman who guided Lewis and Clark through uncharted territory from Missouri to the Pacific Coast in 1804-05.

If she could get those intrepid explorers through such treacherous territory surely she could get Secretary Lew through his female forest.

Just sayin'.  

Busting the Boomers

I am a member of the “Silent Generation,” that cohort born between 1925 and 1945, many of whom served during the Korean War, including me. We were given the name by Time Magazine in an article that described us as “unimaginative, withdrawn, unadventurous and cautious.” Maybe it was because we didn't subscribe.

Then came that group called the “Baby Boomers,” to which we contributed two.

Now I read the first Boomers are approaching their 70's with the usual fanfare and hand-wringing associated with this self-absorbed group. Having been there, done that, I can't get too excited about their generational milestone. Frankly, my dears, I'm kind of tired of hearing about the Boomers and all they've done to:

a) improve our lives,

b) screw up our lives,

c) become a damn nuisance.

I never understood the fuss made over them just because there were so many of them. And now the fuss continues because they are reaching a certain age. Hell, when we “Silents” reached that age no one made a fuss over us. 

Am I jealous or grouchy or just plain ornery? Or maybe I should just keep “silent.”

What We Saved

In my time I saved the daily newspapers of historical events; FDR's death, JFK's assassination, the moon landing, etc. And Life and Look magazines reporting as well. They meant something to me then and I thought they would mean something to my children.

The newspapers were yellowed and brittle but they came not only from New York papers that still exist but from those that do not: The Mirror, The Herald-Tribune, The Journal-American. 

My wife saved other things; bric-a-brac from her mother's home and virtually every letter I wrote to her from Japan when I was in the army there in 1953-54. I also have several dishes and a bowl from my mother's home and the wooden chair my father used when he sat at the head of our Seder table.

My son pointed out this stuff is not “Antiques Roadshow” material. But in the antiques roadshow of our memories they are “priceless.”

We threw out some of the old newspapers. I'm saving the rest of the stuff for him. Have fun, Rob.  

A Retro New Year

We started our New Year's Eve with Artie Shaw's “Any Old Time,” smoothly transitioning to “Rosalie” followed by “Deep Purple” and more from our CD of “The Best of Artie Shaw.”

Those of you of a certain age will remember Artie Shaw, a great clarinetist probably most famous for his rendition of “Begin the Beguine,” my personal favorite. That recording took us through dinner.

Then we adjourned to the couch to watch a Robin Williams classic, “Good Morning, Vietnam.” in which he plays an over-the-top DJ in his own battle with an Army officer who refuses to let him report on the escalating war. Could have been written today about our involvement in the Middle East.

Ended the evening watching a silly movie with Martin Short and Danny Glover which I won't mention further. Then watched the ball drop in Times Square and went to bed.

Continued our Retro New Year at breakfast with Tommy Dorsey and Frank Sinatra and, boy, did Sinatra sound young. The final notes of our Retro New Year were tooted by Harry James, literally and figuratively, “The Man With a Horn.” Vocals by Dick Haymes, Kitty Kallen, Helen Forrest, and Betty Grable, who later became his wife (for a while).

Danced the New Year in, in our memories.

Happy 2016 everyone.

Trumpelstiltskin

He may not be able to spin straw into gold but he sure can spin his way into the Republican presidential picture.

His resemblance to the imp in the famous Grimm fairy tale is remarkable. He has the same golden locks of the miller’s daughter in the original. But all he is spinning now is his own fairy tale.

Yet, like children, many are enchanted.  He can promise anything but really doesn’t have to deliver anything other than a rousing call to arms to his growing number of believers.

Will he self-destruct like his namesake when the name “Trumpelstiltskin” is proclaimed to the world? 

Peeking ahead, I’m guessing his pique will peak at unprecedented heights. 

The Ministry of Trump

It’s not too early for President-elect Trump to start thinking about his cabinet.

With Vice President Carson safely tucked into obscurity, Pres. Trump picks his dream team:

Secretary of Hate: Ted Cruz

Secretary of Indefensible: Marco Rubio

Secretary of Bluster: Chris Christie

Secretary of Indifference: Jeb Bush

Secretary of Hair: Rand Paul

Secretary of Boredom: Mike Huckabee
Secretary of Whats-His-Name:John Kasich

And Secretary of Blunders: Carly Fiorina

The all-Republican Senate confirms everyone unanimously. No Democrat in his right mind would participate in a government like that.

Proving once again you get what you don’t vote for. 

The Front-Runner

Here’s a thought: Is it possible Donald Trump polls so high among republican primary voters because the rest of the field is so, shall we say, tepid?

That’s a fairly mild word to describe Trump’s competition. A more partisan observer might use stronger language in assessing the feckless field. I’d like to disassociate myself from that scrum.

Trump is a phenomenon. The media is captivated by him. Cable comics are having a field day with his candidacy. He is as entertaining as he is ridiculous. Yet he is prevailing in the polls.

He is the star of his own political reality show and everyone else is his supporting cast.

At this time of year, baseball honors its best with “Most Valuable Player” awards. Trump gets my vote for “Kooky of The Year.”

No competition.