Saturday, April 23, 2011

Count Me Out

Dear Alina:

I emailed your article on being “defined by numbers” in today's New York Times Business section to two other people to up the number of times your story was emailed. You say it may not matter to you, but I know better and I wanted to help. I hope you make the 10 most popular list.

I have eight followers of my Blog and someday I may hit double figures. But it really doesn't matter since I write this for fun not for profit. However, if you'd like to be number nine you can find me at http://limbclimber.blogspot.com.

The title of my blog, “Muddling Marv in the Modern World,” pretty much tells you where I stand on the way technology is taking over our lives. I have a few rudimentary items such as a PC and a cell phone but none of the esoterica that seems to rule the lives of young people, which I am not.

I marvel at the determination of Twitterers to Twit and the Facebookers to “like” and track all manner of people. Not for me, however. I have neither the time, the interest nor the inclination to know what anyone else is doing at any given moment of the day. And I'm sure most people feel the same about me.

I enjoyed your article and agree with the concept that we are how we are counted. As for me, count me out.

All the best,

Muddling Marv

Friday, April 22, 2011

Forget Something?

This was a day to remember the things I forgot and be thankful I could.

Actually, the first thing that caused me to panic was when I was at the supermarket checkout counter and thought I had lost my car keys. Why would this cause a panic? Because the little store tag that triggers your “savings” on sale items is attached to my key ring.

As I frantically tried to remember where I might have “lost” the keys my wife, bless her soul, calmly said “aren't those your keys on the counter?” Of course they were. I had put them there along with my purchases so I wouldn't miss getting my well-earned discounts.

If that wasn't bad enough, as we were driving up our street toward our house I asked my wife if I should put the car in our garage. But as I got closer to the house I saw the driveway was empty. Of course it was. I was driving the car that stays on the driveway. Her car was in the garage.

It's enough to make you wonder.

There's an old expression: “To err is human, to forgive is divine.”

I prefer: “To forget is human, to remember is better.”

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Taste Free?

I just caught up with the latest ingredient that's not in foods. Gluten.

So I added Gluten to the other “frees” such as: Caffeine, Sugar, Salt, Fat, Calorie, and there must be others I just don't know about.

Funny thing is in many cases you pay more for the foods that have that one less ingredient in them. Like the “low sodium” (that means less salt) soups. And the “sugar free” cakes and cookies. Today's NYTimes Business Section featured an article about a women who found no drop in sales when she raised the price of her “gluten free” items.

Are we dense or what?

Moving on, I finished that 600-page book I started just under two weeks ago and returned it to the library today. It was “The Invisible Bridge,” by Julie Orringer. Good story, well written.

On a literally bright note, we took a walk around our local park today in sunny, cool and breezy weather. The bonus was running into grandparents of triplets wheeling their six-months-old darlings in a trio-carriage that was a show-stopper. Identical twin girls and a boy who was the oldest by seconds. Adorable all.

We didn't know the couple but we couldn't help stopping and admiring the babies, one of whom was awake and smiled at us. I guess she could spot a grandparent a smile away.

Cheers.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Fill it or 40

It has come to this: I pull into the gas station and tell the attendant “fill it up with regular or $40 worth, whichever comes first.”

By the way, New Jersey still insists an attendant must pump your gas. Most everywhere else you do it yourself. Doesn't make the gas any cheaper that way, it just means the station owner has one or two less employees to pay.

Anyway, when gas prices starting inching up and some stations began charging less for cash, we started paying cash. We mostly patronize one station we call “the cheapie place” because the only sign identifying it says “cash only.” And it is a few cents a gallon cheaper that most other places around.

Now that prices are galloping upward rather than inching, we watch the gauge even more closely. If it hovers near or below the halfway mark, it's time to fill up before busting the budget.

Hence the $40 or fill-up rule. Today, with the tank at just under half full, I sneaked in at $39. And I have a four-cylinder Honda. We've rented a house in Maine for a week in July and I hope the cost of driving to and from won't exceed the rental fee.

We can always economize elsewhere. Like not eating?

We'll manage.

The Second Seder

The second Seder is the penalty inflicted on all Jews living outside of Israel.

Jews in Israel celebrate Passover with a Seder on the first night. That's because, according to legend, they know when Passover begins. We in the Diaspora, however, are not so sure. So we have two Seders just to make sure we get it right, eventually.

One year we spent Passover in Israel with my son and his family and we had one marvelous Seder on the first night. He wanted us to do it again the next night because we don't live in Israel. We said no thanks, when in Israel we'll do as the Israelis do. One night was fine.

It's not that we don't enjoy Seders. It's just that there's too much food to consume on consecutive nights. It takes the rest of the eight days of the holiday to try to lighten the load.

When you think about it, God didn't provide brisket for the Jews fleeing Egypt. They were lucky to get manna and water. Not that I want manna and water. I'd really rather have the brisket and all the trimmings. I also love the charoses and bitter herbs and matzoh. I just think once a year might be enough.

As you can see, I'm filing this blog late because I was too full to think last night after our wonderful second Seder with friends and relatives.

Happy Passover, wherever you are.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Seder Review

Opening night of Muddling Marv's Modified Seder 2011 drew a sparse but select audience. There was my older son, his wife, their three young adult sons and one guest.

Although the production skipped some elements relating to small children, we did cover the essentials of the story of the Exodus from Egypt. And then we ate.

The food was delicious. Grandma prepared the brisket with all the trimmings and our daughter-in-law, Caroline, made her super matzoh pudding. Cakes and fresh fruit for dessert topped it all off.

While everyone agreed the modifications were acceptable, the show closed after opening night. The executive producer, my wife, decided she liked the traditional format better.

So while it may not happen “next year in Jerusalem,” if it happens at all it probably will be in Verona, NJ and according to Maxwell House.

Oh, well, it was worth a try.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Muddling Marv's Modified Seder 2011

This year we have decided to modify our Seder tomorrow night, eliminating some things that seem anachronistic and adding others to simplify the process.

1. We'll have a traditional Seder plate but since we all know what's on it and what the items represent, we'll go right to the wine blessing, the Kiddush.
2. We're out of young children to pass around a water pitcher for “the men” to wash their hands. Instead, we'll give each participant (that means women, too) a damp cloth to symbolically wash.
3. Potatoes symbolizing a green vegetable will be on plates at each end of the table with a dish of salt water next to them for individual dipping as we recite the appropriate blessing. This eliminates the host having to balance a slice of potato on a fork and pass one around to each participant.
4. We will break the middle matzoh, the famed “Afikomen”, and put it aside. But since no child has “stolen” it for years we'll just have it for dessert. Saves me some ransom, too.
5. Then my older son, a father of four who relishes reading this portion, will recite the traditional “Lo, this is the bread of affliction,” etc.
6. Because there are no really young children at the table we will bypass the four questions since all those present know the answers.
7. In accordance with gender neutrality we will mention the four “children” rather than the four “sons”, since females are as likely to be wicked, wise, simple but forever young.
8. No Seder would be complete without reciting the 10 plagues and diminishing our wine glasses in remembrance of the Egyptian losses. No finger-licking, please.
9. We will skip the second washing of the hands, symbolically or otherwise, and go right to distributing the matzoh and saying the blessing thereof.
10. Followed by the Moror and Charoses, plus blessing.
11. And the horseradish sandwich, with blessing.
12. Followed by the hard-boiled eggs (dipping in salt water optional). No blessing.
13. Followed by dinner, featuring Grandma's traditional chicken soup with matzoh balls, brisket, chicken cutlets, Caroline's sweet matzoh pudding, fruits and delicious desserts.
14. After dinner we will open the door for Elijah the prophet to come in and sip from the cup set aside for him. We will debate whether he has sipped or not.
15. We conclude our Seder with a final sip of wine and recite the plea of our ancestors: “Next Year in Jerusalem.”

Happy Passover!