“I'm Not There”

One of the obstacles older persons have in dealing with the modern world is a loss of hearing.

Short of using hearing aids, which have limited benefit, we try different tactics to overcome the tendency to say “what?” whenever someone, usually a spouse, says something. One of them is to make sure we have eye contact before speaking. Another is not to speak from another room. Same thing actually, but lifetime habits are hard to break.

We usually signal one another when we hear a voice. “I'm not there,” is a favorite. “I can't hear you when the water's running,” is another. Just walking into the speaker's room saying, “I heard your voice but not what you said,” is effective. The whole idea is not to frustrate each other by having to repeat everything.

Friends who use hearing aids still have trouble hearing. I have one friend I speak to only in his left ear and only at close range. He doesn't mind. I'm not sure he even realizes what I'm doing.

We kid each other a lot about what we “heard” and what we actually said. Sometimes we're close, other times hysterically off target. We laugh about those. I wish I could come up with some quick examples for you but that's another problem, short-term memory.

We can remember things that happened years ago but often can't remember what we had for lunch. (We didn't have lunch today, just a late, full breakfast. You don't need to know the details.)

Maybe we should text. I shudder at THAT thought.