A Slow News Day

It's gotta be a slow news day when Mayor de Blasio eating pizza with knife and fork deserves a whole column from Maureen Dowd in today's New York Times.

As did Ms. Dowd, my wife and I also howled at Jon Stewart's takeout on the mayor's gustatory gaffe (to pizza purists, anyway). He was in Staten Island, after all, fingers-first country. But a whole column, Mo? Maybe it was just “let's give Chris Christie a break day.”

OK, full confession: sometimes we, too, start a slice with knife and fork to spare the roofs of our mouths from being scorched. But then its full-fold-fingers mode right down to the crust, as long as that's not too thick.

Politicians have always tried to win ethnic votes by publicly tasting their favorite foods. It's a lot easier to appeal for votes with sticky fingers than sticky issues. 

Now let's get back to real meaty news: SCANDALS.  

Welcome to My World, Chris

I've been reading about the impact of the Fort Lee traffic mess on Gov. Christie's political future. And this comment really hit home.

In today's New York Times, Michael Barbaro notes that in the middle of this mess, Gov. Christie had to deliver his State of the State address to the Legislature. Not that he could do anything about that. But Mr. Barbaro goes on to quote a professor of political science and law at Montclair University as saying the speech is “too close to the scandal.”

“The reality is,” she says, “is that this governor has to muddle through this one.”

Now that's something I'm familiar with, muddling that is. After all I am “Muddling Marv in the Modern World.” Think the Guv would be interested in my muddling methods?

Perhaps we should meet. No preconditions, no promises made, nothing expected in return.

Call me?

Are We Ready For...(TaDa)

“Gates Gate?” Surely the media will slap that moniker on the ruckus created by publication of former Defense Secretary Robert Gates' memoir, “Duty.”

It is my obligation to tell you that I haven't read it and probably won't. That doesn't mean I can't have an opinion on it, like most of the pundits who relish the dish of dirt Secretary Gates serves up on President Obama and others in government.

Actually, I'm reserving my opinion till smarter people tell me what to think. Like my wife, for instance. After watching the “60 Minutes” interview with Secretary Gates tonight, my wife thought he should not have said disparaging things about a sitting president. I'm sure the fur will be flying in all directions for some time, buddy photos of Obama and Biden notwithstanding.

Between “Gates Gate” and “All A-Rod All the Time,” does anyone remember "Bridgegate?" You know, Governor Chris Christie's traffic/political jam. And why aren't we calling it "Bridget-gate," after poor Bridget Kelly who took the fall for four days of traffic snafus in Fort Lee, NJ. Just saying.

On the other hand, let's give the “gate” tag line the gate. Remember, the tag line started with “Watergate” which was a real name. All subsequent “gates” have become journalistic shorthand for any type of chicanery.

We should be better than that.