Monday, February 24, 2020

A Few Words

I am known as a man of few words.

So I thought I'd share some of them with you.

The most common are: yes; no; maybe; perhaps; hmmm.

Then  there are the positives: wonderful; great; good idea; let's do it; great shot (never tell a golfer he hit a terrible shot--he knows).

The negatives: No way; don't do (say) that; not me; you sure about that; I'm out.

Indecisive: I don't know; let me think about that; that's interesting; hmmm (all purpose).

Challenging: Where'd you get that idea? Who says? You're kidding! No way; humph  (used with a disparagng sneer)

You can see right away that most of these utterances are potential conversation snuffers, hence my reputation.

The truth is, its my experience most people are more interested in what THEY have to say than anything I (you) might offer.

Comments, anyone?


Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Hardly

Hardly, TN, (MFP) — I’m gearing up for the 2020 census here. Hope the census taker can find me, here in Hardly,  hardly anyone else can.

See, this is such an it-of-the-way place, hardly anyone ever comes here. Not on any map, so hardly anyone can find it (me). I stumbled across it myself, by accident of course. Hardly remember how or when. Does is matter? I’m here and ready to be counted.

Name: Howard Hardly.
Address: Hardly, TN. 
Can you be more specific?
No need to, hardly anyone else here,
All right: occupation?
Hardly any.
Does that mean unemployed?
It means I hardly do anything.
How do you live?
You call this living? I hardly do. 
Family members living with you?
Humph, hardly. Look around, would you live here?

OK, closest neighbor? 
Right now, you are. Hardly anyone else can find this place. By the way, how’d you get here?
I’m the census taker, I get everywhere.
What’s your next stop?
Tentative, TN.  I think.
You’re not sure?

Well, you, of all people, should know how it is.
Hardly.