Saturday, April 30, 2011

And where do you keep YOUR pills?

We had one of those inevitable conversations couples our age have from time to time. Much as I hate to discuss ailments and what we do about them, under certain circumstance they can be a source of much laughter.

Dinner tonight was an example of the genre, if you could call it such.

The conversation started innocently enough over dinner with friends at a local deli. We briefly discussed problems navigating through emails, without solving anything. Then, for a reason that escapes me, we started talking about digestive problems and the remedies we favored to deal with them. Maybe it was the pastrami sandwiches that ignited the topic. It really doesn't matter but we did go around the block a bit on who took what and why to much amusement.

Next, it was pills. Who took what and when and how do you keep track of them. We use one system, our friends another. The woman said her husband was very good about taking his morning and evening pills but sometimes forgot his lunchtime doses.

We suggested a lazy Susan-type dispenser with a clock face and pill receptacles at 9, Noon and 6 p.m. Sort of like pill roulette. Spin the Susan and if you got the right time you took your pill. If you missed you did without. (I suppose you could rig it so you always won. Call it the house's edge.)

Which brought up this subject: say you occasionally skip a certain pill, as my friend has done. His doctor once asked him if he noticed any difference if he missed one. He said “not really.” So he now has a new objective: seeing how many pills he can eliminate without causing any distress. I don't think he was kidding.

If you don't laugh at this stuff you could drive yourself nuts. It's one way of muddling through.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Where are you?

A question often asked of someone on a cell phone since you could be almost anywhere. The answer is sometimes important, sometimes not.

And most important if you can't be reached. Then it becomes a source of frustration.

For example. I played golf today and was anxious to see how my bursitis would react. My wife also was concerned for me because carts could not go onto the fairways which were soggy from recent rains. This meant more walking than usual for me.

Normally I would keep my cell phone in my golf bag so as not to annoy anyone should it ring. In fact I don't expect anyone to call me on the course except maybe my wife. Or I would call her after nine holes just to check in.

As it happened, I had my cell phone in my pants pocket the entire day and it did not ring. Therein lay the problem. I found out the hard way that my wife had called me many times to see how I was doing. And the reason the phone didn't ring was because it was on vibrate and I did not feel the vibration.

Now, you may ask, why hadn't you called her as you say you do? Well, I thought she was at the beauty parlor at the usual call-in time, after the ninth hole. So I didn't call her and although she called me, I wasn't aware of it.

Hence this exchange when we both got home:

Where were you?
Where were YOU?
Why didn't you answer your phone?
I didn't hear it.
Why didn't you call me?
Weren't you at the beauty parlor?
No, that was earlier in the day.
Let's check your phone, I'm going to call you.
(Phone vibrates in pocket.)
I didn't know it was on vibrate.
Well, you should have called ME!
I thought you were...
Never mind, just bring in the groceries.

By the way, how's your leg?
Fine, thank you.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

It takes two...

I want to give my wife tons of credit for helping me set up my new wireless printer-scanner-copier-fax machine. Of course I can't go wireless yet but everything else is on schedule. We'll get to the wireless function eventually.

The first chore needed four hands just to get the thing out of the box. The printer was packed so securely I couldn't get a grip on the solid Styrofoam sides. So we laid the box on its side and I tried to slide it out while my wife held the carton steady. It was tough going but we finally got it out.

Then the fun started. I removed my old fax machine and my old printer from my desk top. Remember, I had two separate units and each had its own set of cables for power and connectivity to the PC.

All the cables were snaked behind my desk unit which fits snugly into a corner of our kitchen. They were plugged into surge protectors on the floor. Unplugging the cables was easy. Getting them out from behind the unit was another matter.

First the male end of one power cord became stuck in a corner and wouldn't budge. That's when my wife, after watching me struggle unsuccessfully to loosen it, came up with a brilliant idea. Move the unit away from the wall, dummy. Done and done.

Next: I detached the old fax phone line so it could be replaced by the new one. Same problem. One end of the phone cord gets stuck in a corner of the desk as I'm trying to pull it through. After careful thought, I moved the desk and the cord came out. Who said I was a slow learner?

Well, I've printed but haven't scanned, copied or faxed yet. I'm taking it slow.

Muddling through.

Trumped? Hardly

So now we know for sure the President was born in Hawaii.

I try very hard not to blog about politics but as a former news reporter and editor, I am appalled at the unchallenged attention we give to outrageous statements made by elected (Bachmann/Palin, et al) and non-elected politicians (Donald Trump) alike.

You may call it “just politics” but I call it an abrogation of due diligence. When I was a reporter and someone made a statement that begged the question “prove it”, you asked it. And asked it again until you got an answer. George Stephanopoulos did his best against Trump recently but gave up when Trump bullied him by repeating the phrase, “next question.”

No, No, Donald, no next question until you answer the one I just asked. It didn't happen that way and it won't happen that way again now that Trump is calling Mr. Obama's college grades into question. Why, I ask, is this man being taken seriously?

He runs a phoney reality TV show which buys him celebrity which buys him copy. What it doesn't buy him is credibility.

C'mon boys and girls of the media. Call this guys bluff once and for all and let's get on with the real news. If you remember what that is.

With much love, your former colleague who is now very happy in retirement.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Where is...?

We've all had those moments when you know you have something but can't find it. Sometimes it's right in front of you but you just don't see it.

Today was one of those days. Yesterday we came home with two new purchases, a new coffee maker and an all-in-one printer. Today we put the coffee maker together and it works fine. Then we started looking for the box of extra water filters we bought. We wanted to store it in the same place we kept the filters for our old coffee brewer.

Couldn’t find the box. Looked in all the places it should have been and some places it shouldn't have been, such as the garbage which was by the curb waiting to be picked up. Wasn't there either.

Looked upstairs, downstairs and, yes, in my lady's chambers. No box of filters.

We knew we had it. We checked the Costco receipt and sure enough it was itemized and paid for. We were perplexed and becoming increasingly frustrated.

Then, my wife makes a move toward the printer box which was sitting on the kitchen floor right next to me. On top of the box were two packs of ink cartridges one on top of the other.

She picks up the top pack and there, sitting in a recess of the bottom pack, waiting to be discovered is our box of spare filters.

We felt too silly to be relieved. Now I know where it is. I just checked.

Monday, April 25, 2011

One small step for Marv...

Actually two. We splurged today on a new coffee maker which required diligent reading of the instructions (yes, my wife read the instructions) to learn how to operate it. But we haven't plugged it in yet because we're the cautious type. Surely tomorrow, maybe even in time for morning coffee.

But the really big step was buying one of those all-in-one printer, fax, scan, copy machines that also has wireless printing capability, whatever that is. I haven't read the instruction manual for this thing yet. I'm allowing lots of time to set this baby up.

Wouldn’t you know I just replaced both the color and black ink cartridges in my current printer. Shall I use it until the inks run out or just keep in in reserve? I think the latter, since we have only a 30-day return policy on the new one. Want to make sure that's working properly.

I've heard about the benefits of scanning stuff into your PC and I'm looking forward to trying that. And now I can get rid of the bulky fax machine that sits on the floor right next to me and that I rarely use.

I'm getting there. No smart phone yet. No iPad. No e-reader. But the office is becoming more compact.

The Muddler is inching into the future.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

No Body Parts, Please

I have a rule I like to establish before we start casual conversations with friends or relatives. I won't tell them my aches and pains and I don't want to hear about theirs.

Let's talk about anything else. Face it, we're all around that age when things start to, how shall I put it, crumble? Too soft a word? How about break down or fall apart?

My tennis buddies, bless their souls, are a perfect example. One stalwart bowed out this year because of bad knees. Another suffered a serious eye injury when he was hit by a tennis ball. Soon thereafter, his life was further complicated by first a shoulder injury and then a knee problem. He's out for a while.

I haven't played tennis since my bursitis kicked up but I sense it slowly coming around. I hope to get back to the courts by the end of May. If anyone else is still standing to play with.

And worst of all, a very close friend survived a heart attack by minutes. He's recovering very well, thank you, but once again we are reminded of our mortality.

So we have our aches and pains and once in a while we'll share them one on one but, please, not in a group setting. I'd rather hear about the grandchildren and the great-grandchildren complete with pictures.

Or, read any good books lately?